Journals – Many Different Forms

The beginning of a new year can be a great opportunity to start a journal. I have kept journals ever since my teen years in one form or another. A journal doesn’t have to be a daily jotting down of your day’s activities, although it can be. They can take many forms and I have many different ways of recording my life.


Since the pandemic was declared March 11, 2020, I have kept a daily log of my activities and whereabouts in red pen on a big calendar on the wall. I figured it would be a good way to see how often I really did exercise or see family and friends and it would be good for contact tracing if I ever needed to do that. I didn’t think it would last this long. I’m still writing in red pen every day.


Photo journals are also a way of documenting your life. I take a lot of photos in my life, sometimes for creative expression, but also to chronicle my own life. I love creating photo essays with pictures and short explanations to look back on my days and events. This year I started my “Coronawalk” series to record my frequent walks in my neighbourhood and nature areas. It’s wonderful to look back on them and relive the memories.


For many years now I have kept a reading journal, listing every book I read and recording the author, a short summary, and my own * rating. I don’t know about you but I have trouble remembering titles and authors when I try and recall a good read for a friend. Now I have my trusty reading journal to check and refresh my memory.


I travel a lot (or used to before the pandemic) and I have always kept a travel journal, recording my day’s activities and the names of places and people as I go. It helps me keep track of the days, where I’m going and what I’m doing, and also to remember unusual names and spellings.


I do also have a more traditional journal notebook beside me at all times but I use it in less traditional ways. Yes, I use it to write about my day filling it with my spontaneous thoughts and responses. I also fill it with quotes I come across in my reading, summaries of information in my research, quick interesting facts, and names and numbers of people I want to remember, as well as births, deaths, marriages, and other special events so that I can always check back for specific dates and other information. This is also where I record my dreams, meditations, gratitude, and creative ideas. My journals fill up fast. I have a stack of them all in different shapes and colours in my bedside table.


My Facebook writer page and WordPress blog was started in November 10, 2014, before the publication of my first book “10 – A Story of Love, Life, and Loss.” My first entry said, “Hello followers. I have created this page to share musings, ideas and other writings that contribute to understanding, encouraging and uplifting each other in this path we call life.” On my Facebook writer page (www.facebook.com/barbaraheagywriter) I have continued to post something every day for the last six years. I see it as a form of journal, a way of expressing daily gratitude or fears, not only for my readers, but for myself. I post at least once a month on my blog. Sometimes I want to impart some good information about reading and writing or sometimes I just want to post a funny meme or joke for a good chuckle or laugh. I enjoy writing them and I hope you enjoy reading them.


As you can see, journals can take many forms. Do you journal? Tell me about it.

Some Things Are the Same, But Everything’s Different

Well, the Big Day came and went. This Christmas, some things were the same but everything was different.

I put up the Christmas tree, earlier than I ever have, back in November, to help build Christmas cheer. I bought a toy Christmas train and set it up around the base of the tree. Every morning, I would turn it on and listen to its chug, chug, and whistle as its pre-recorded Christmas tunes tinkled out while I sat alone on my couch.

There were brightly wrapped packages under the tree but they had to be delivered early to family and friends at their homes, placing them on the porches and stepping back for a socially distanced visit.

Instead of the whole family filling up my home and beds with chaos and laughter, it was just three of us, my bubble. It made for a much quieter home, which wasn’t such a bad thing, but it sure was different.

I still prepared a table full of food for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. A turkey with stuffing was roasted and we said our thanks, hands held together in a much smaller circle this year.

Christmas morning we woke early with phones signaling a FaceTime call and several times that day we were on the phone opening stockings and gifts together. No face to face but a good second best.

I bought three small bottles of champagne for our three households and together on FaceTime we raised our glasses and made a toast to our love and families, those present and absent.

My eldest daughter made a very moving and heartfelt video for us which was delivered via social media. We listened in the quiet of my living room by the Christmas tree, our fireplace crackling in the background. Her love for us and pain at not being able to be together was so evident. We laughed and we cried, again, not in person, but as a good second substitute.

Instead of noisy board games with much teasing and laughter, there was a big jigsaw puzzle set up at one end of the dining room table, and with a full, quiet afternoon ahead of us, much of it got completed.

In spite of all the restrictions put on us by the pandemic, we managed to have a beautiful and meaningful Christmas. We still had the basic elements, the tree, the stockings and gifts, the feast and good food. Much of it was the same, but the pandemic made it all different. What was important and never-changing was the love we felt for each other. We just found new ways to share it.

A Christmas of Magical Thinking

Mysterious monoliths are popping up all over the world. A friend thank you, Meg Brubacher) posted pictures of this global news and asked her Facebook friends what they thought of them.

I told her I think it’s very cool. Just the distraction into magical thinking that we need in these troubling times. Who is doing it? I’m guessing artists and artisans from all over the world who are using their joined creativity for all of our benefit. We all need a dose of magical thinking.

Christmas is already full of potential for magical thinking. Santa’s global journey in a sled full of toys is pretty amazing. For me, the original story of a baby born in a manger, visited by shepherds and wise men is the most magical and mysterious story of all.

These times are challenging me to dig deep into my own beliefs and ways of thinking to decide what really are the most important traditions and meanings of Christmas for me. It’ll be a simpler Christmas, still with a decorated Christmas tree, brightly wrapped presents under its boughs, burning logs in the fireplace, and a turkey in the oven. Although family and friends will be separated, we will find new ways to connect via FaceTime and short outdoor visits. What I can’t give to my family, I’m sharing with others through local food banks, churches, toy drives and other initiatives. Thoughts of community, community building, and quiet worshipful time is adding a depth of meaning to Christmas for me that is accentuated by the pandemic and its limitations.

What ‘s most important to you this Christmas? What traditions and activities are you holding on to in spite of the pandemic? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Friluftsliv – Embracing Outdoor Living the Norwegian Way

As fall approaches, the weather is getting cooler and soon enough we will be smack into winter. I am dreading the thought of being stuck inside for days and weeks on end. Already I have been brainstorming ways of embracing the outdoor winter season rather than avoiding it. Well, as it turns out, the Norwegians have a word for this — friluftsliv – which roughly translates into ‘open air living.’ It gives the Norwegians a mindset that embraces being in nature and the outdoors at any time of the year in any kind of weather.


In March, as COVID-19 pushed me away from others and close contact, I began to seek more outdoor activities. For me this spring and summer, that meant embracing gardening in a big way as my daughter and I created a beautiful COVID garden in what had been a weed-filled lot.


I walked more – everywhere – throughout my own neighbourhood streets as well as established trails, parks, and conservation areas.


I began taking more outdoor photographs again and enjoyed editing and sharing them with others on social media.


I also began fishing again, something I used to do in abundance years ago before my children were born and city living became the norm.


Now, with the change in weather, I am seeking activities that will get me outdoors enjoying nature in the snow and ice. I am returning to snowshoeing and have been contemplating getting a pair of cross-country skis. I may take up ice-fishing. I can continue to take pictures and may even enjoy an outdoor picnic in the snow.


Whatever I choose, it really means embracing a mindset that enjoys being outdoors, whatever the weather. Winter is a beautiful and unique time of year. Let’s all do some ”friluftsliving” and get outside and enjoy nature and all its benefits no matter what the season.


(For those who would like to read more about it, look for “Friluftsliv: Connect With Nature the Norwegian Way” by author Oliver Luke Delorie.)
Photograph credit – Andrew Fearman

Board Games for the Bored

At my house, my daughter Brittany has been staying with me during COVID-19. We found an old crokinole board and pieces in a basement closet and we are having so much fun playing some fast-paced games. The Scrabble board is getting well-used and we have had some fun and laughter playing Scattergories. An old crossword book has been dug out of the closet to add some variety to it all. We haven’t used it yet but the old Wii has been set up on the TV for some golf and bowling games.

Here are some ideas for other board games, for singles and or couples or groups. What are some of your favourite games to play during COVID-19? I’d like to know.

https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/04/the-best-board-games-to-play-with-your-quarantined-housemates/?utm_source=pocket-newtab&fbclid=IwAR2m2p2ooyMIiD9DZmYCtqtJc3olChXRW579Z2pPKjSHdiezmKBHZwDgPyY

Social Isolation and the Coronavirus

I read an interesting article this morning when I opened up my computer — “Lockdown was supposed to be an introvert’s paradise. It’s not” by Abby Ohlheiser in online Technology Review. It speaks of this lockdown and social isolation we are all experiencing with COVID-19. Introverts feel relieved. Finally! They love social isolation and are good at it and yet they have always been criticized for it and pressured into being more socially active. Suddenly we are all in the same boat, stuck at home.


Ohlheiser says, “[A]s people began to adjust to isolation, they started to find ways to bring their outside social lives into their homes.


People are coping with the coronavirus pandemic by upending their lives and attempting to virtually re-create what they lost. The new version, however, only vaguely resembles what we left behind . . . The result, for introverts, extroverts, and everyone in between, is the bizarre feeling of being socially overwhelmed despite the fact that we’re staying as far away from each other as we can.”


I know I have experienced this. I am an extrovert and have always been on the go, attending a workout class or club, taking a workshop, and visiting family and friends. When I was suddenly thrust into my own home with nowhere to go, I found instant relief on the Internet. In one day, I took part in a Sound Bath Get-Together, sat with others for a short meditation, took an online dance session, and that night attended an online Slam Poetry session, as well as chatting it up with family and friends on both my telephone and video chat. In between I could cruise through Facebook and my e-mail catching others comments, jokes, memes, games, poetry and online journals or virtually wander through a museum or art gallery. If that wasn’t enough, I could Netflix binge or watch the constant stream of media attention on the latest coronavirus news worldwide.


I was able to do it for one day. It was overwhelming. I realized I had replaced my busy life with a virtual one, one that wasn’t at all like the real thing. So I began to read, write, cook, and clean. Now I go outside for long walks with my camera in hand, carefully taking into consideration government bylaws and suggestions as they change daily, practising six foot social distancing, washing my hands and changing clothes when I return to my own home.


It is difficult adjusting to this isolated virtual world. We have been told by the experts that this could go on for 1 1/2 to 2 years. If it does, we all will be changed. Let us hold on to our humanity, be aware of loving and caring for our small circles, those most important to us, and finding healthy connections wherever we find them through nature and other life-building activities. All the best to you. Someday this will end.

Love Better

This New Year’s Day I found myself reluctant to make any big resolutions. I am such a goal-oriented person and when I make a goal, I make a back-up plan for how it will come to pass, and then I’m checking my progress along the way at specific signposts. It has often become work rather than play. Meaningful work at the time but this year I thought, “Nah, I don’t feel that driven. I don’t want to put myself through that.”

And yet, I do want to move forward as a person. This year my aim is “To Love Better.” It sounds too simple and wishy-washy but it has big output when it’s put into place. I want to increase my circle to enlarge my world and take a bigger stand in it.

I want to listen better, contact you more often, be interested and care about you. I want to be more generous in my gifts of all kinds whether that be time, finances, or material goods. I want to be braver in stepping forward to be in your life. I have learned that I don’t need to be intimidated by you, we are all equally worthy.

I want to be more aware. I don’t need to be overwhelmed by you and your life. I don’t need to solve all your problems and take them on as my own. I just need to be there for you in small little doses or in bigger, more extended ways if it feels right and it’s helpful for us both.

I want to be more attentive, watch for the moments when I can step forward — by opening a door, letting you go ahead of me in line, helping carry your packages. I want to stop turning my back on world problems and learn about them and take responsibility for them. I can’t solve them but I can take little steps to change myself and my little place in the world by cutting down on my garbage output, my use of energy resources, and contributing to causes that promote good environmental practices. I can write about world problems and offer solutions guided by others to spread the word and offer aid when needed.

I would be amiss if I forget to include loving myself in my resolution. I want to focus on good health practices, by watching my diet, exercising regularly, and taking time for mental and spiritual growth.

I want to love my God, my spiritual guide better. I want to read more, talk more, learn more, share more, pray more, listen more. I want to be open and receptive. I want to be quieter and attend to You more.

It’s already sounding bigger and more complicated, isn’t it? It doesn’t have to be. All I have to do is keep my little mantra in mind, and in every instance in my life just keep saying it, “Love better.” When I start to whine and complain and I just want to give up, I say to myself, “Love better.” When you begin to irritate me and I find myself wanting to strike back in anger with bitter words or walk away, I say to myself, “Love better.” When I’m feeling overwhelmed and know that I deserve attention too, I say to myself, “Love better” and attend to my own needs.

It can be that easy. Just “Love better.”

A Simpler Christmas

It’s only two days away and Christmas will be upon us. Each year I make Christmas simpler and simpler and yet I still hold on to many of my traditions that make the holiday festive. It’s not easy to hold back as we move through the season. Stores flaunt and push their wares. People around us are rushing here and there filling their carts with gifts and foodstuffs and often overextending themselves in both energy and money. I have had to hold myself in check and stick to a budget so I don’t get carried away too.

For me, it’s important to have a tree up in my home but I brought out fewer decorations and lights this year. It’s still beautiful. Gift buying and wrapping was finished earlier than ever for me and it feels wonderful to have the presents all wrapped and under the tree waiting for our celebration on Christmas Day. Family are coming for several days and I am getting the floors swept, the rugs vacuumed, and tabletops dusted.

I’m not a baker and so I felt very lucky to find a Cookie Extravaganza at a local church and was able to buy dozens of fresh, homemade cookies ready to share with friends and family.

For a month now, I have been attending lunch and dinner parties with small groups of friends as we celebrate our long-time friendships. It has been much more meaningful to take part in smaller, more intimate groups rather than large noisy parties.

I always seek out an opportunity to take part in some sing-along Christmas carolling and I also enjoy attending my grandson’s Winter Celebration at his school. This past weekend I attended a wonderful Winter Concert at our local theatre and have been listening to Christmas music non-stop.

I always appreciate the outdoor light displays and have been able to enjoy them over this month as so many have generously decorated their homes and yards for community benefit. The local town puts on its yearly display in a park and it’s tradition to go for a nighttime walk through the sparkling paths.

I’ve taken some moments to think about those who may not be having a joyful season. There are many suffering from past losses and I have taken time to write, pray, and share with others who have needed some extra love this season. There are many that financially just don’t have the resources to partake in all the Christmas buying and preparations. I have donated food, gifts, and money to others to add a little extra to their lives this holiday as others have done for me and my family in the past during difficult times.

Christmas crafts with my grandkids, and some minimal card and letter writing have nicely rounded out the preparations for the Christmas Day celebration. I have been busy but not as busy as I have in other years. I enjoy my traditions but have tried to not let them overwhelm me. We get caught up in the hustle and bustle in our attempts to achieve that ultimate Christmas that we hold as the ideal. I was in the library the other day and an older woman was complaining to the librarian. “I hate Christmas. All the gifts and wrapping and food preparation. And then there’s the house cleaning. It’s too much! I’m going home to lie down. I’m exhausted already.” I looked at the clock and noted that it was only 10:00 a.m. Why does she do this to herself?, I thought.

I hope that the Christmas preparations haven’t overwhelmed you. Try and keep things simple. Think about what’s really important to you and focus on that. For me, that’s family time. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing as much as taking the time to just be with each other. I also take time to reflect and refocus on ‘the reason for the season’ as I think about that little Babe born long ago. It’s a magical story.

Merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy your holiday time, whatever you do.

Advent is Upon Us

December 1, Advent, the beginning of the Christmas season.

Christians use it as a preparation for the commemoration of the birth of Jesus as they move through the next 24 days with hope, peace, joy, and love.

 Much of the world prepares in other ways. Little children use it as a countdown for the coming of Santa Claus and open each small door on their chocolate Advent calendars with anticipation and excitement.

For me, it’s the beginning of a season for stopping to think about my own spiritual journey and relationship to Christ. I, also, join the rest of the secular world in carrying on and enjoying all the traditions of this special time of year as I put up my Christmas tree, bake the shortbread cookies, buy and wrap the gifts and watch the Christmas specials on TV.

It’s a special season that’s for sure. We have 24 days to prepare our homes and hearts for December 25 and all that it means to us. Enjoy it. Take part in your community events. Sing Christmas carols. Read the Christmas stories. Attend the concerts. Gather together in parties and feasting. Exchange gifts with your loved ones as well as those less fortunate as you.

Whatever you do, celebrate in whatever way is most meaningful to you and yours. May all the excitement and anticipation of the season be yours as you keep your traditions alive.

The Nautilus Shell

Reading Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening” last night, I found this beautiful passage and contemplation of the Nautilus shell creature that with time becomes a spiral shell. As it builds a new layer, it only resides in the newest chamber, leaving the other chambers to be full of liquid or a gas to aid buoyancy.

Nepo uses the Nautilus as a metaphor and lesson for our own lives: “…live in the most recent chamber and use the others to stay afloat. . . Can we internalize where we’ve been enough to know that we are no longer living there? When we can, life will seem lighter . . . only time can put the past in perspective, and only when the past is behind us, and not before us, can we be open enough and empty enough to truly feel what is about to happen.”

As hurting, wounded humans, we carry our pains and traumas around as added baggage that weigh us down and affect our daily lives in negative ways. Would that we could leave the weights of our stings and distress behind and move ourselves forward into our new lives, like the Nautilus, using our past tribulations to hold us up rather than hold us down.

How we do that is not easy. For me, research, reading, talking to others, listening to others, journal writing, quiet contemplation and meditation, walks in nature, and prayer all help me to internalize my life journey and then step back with the lessons I’ve learned to move in a positive forward direction. “Be here now” is a mantra that is built on our past experiences by not denying our past but not being weighed down and led by it.