writing – Barbara Heagy

Writing for Healing – A Response Poem to Rumi

Back in June, I attended a writing workshop with Kat McNichol called “Writing for Healing” in Eden Mills. As one of the quick writing prompts, I wrote a poem Not Me. It was written in response to the poet Rumi’s poem Not Here.

When the poem was introduced to us by Kat, I had such a negative internal response that I decided I should just deal with it in a written response. The result, created in five minutes, showed me the level of anger and weariness I had in dealing with the grief of my deceased husband and love of my life.

Kat asked if she could publish the poem in her online newsletter. Check out the poems (Rumi’s original and mine) and other stories by clicking on the link below.

A Response to Rumi

And by the way — if you have a chance to take a workshop with Kat McNichol, do it! She’s a fabulous teacher. There is another ‘Writing for Healing’ workshop coming up in October. Check for details at www.dreamerswriting.com.

A Response Poem to Rumi’s Not Here

Not Me by Barbara Heagy

Oh, Rumi.
I do not want to hear this right now.
Don’t speak to me about bravery and sharp
compassion.
I have had howling hurt
And it sucks.

I have stood strong and full of courage.
“Turn and face the lions,” I said.
But the lions’ roaring pains my eardrums.
Their carnivorous breath makes me faint.
Their overpowering size tires me
As I pace the cage with them.

Copper and gold are not for me.
I have accumulated a treasure house of
such so-called riches.
Give me sun.
Give me breath.
God, give me pastrami.
Anything but more of your precious metals.

I am not half-hearted.
I am empty-hearted
Facing your sizzling ovens that shape the soul.

Empty-hearted, holding back,
I am now just well-enough and getting by.

Your challenge has depleted me,
Frozen my thoughts into debilitating ideas of
“I can do this.
This will be good for me.”

Well F’ you, Rumi.
I walk away from this challenge.
I’ve given at the office, thank you.

I Am From

As an introduction to each other at our recent Rhythmwood Soul Journey, Wendy Roman asked us to write a poem about ourselves from a basic form called “I Am From . . . “. All we had to do was fill in the blanks as we reminisced about our past and contemplated all the people and events that had formed who we are today. Here is my poem. What would your poem be?

I Am From by Barbara Heagy

I am from country farms,
From czardas and paprikash.

I am from grandma’s warm lap
like sheltering laughter.

I am from lilacs, fresh mown hay,
and bubbling creeks.

I am from hippies and hash,
From cool northern lakes and jumping fish.

I am from journals and contemplations,
From words and books and songs.

I am from breath and moving bodies.

I am from spiritual journeys danced in prayers,
laced with pain and grace.

I am from daughters to grandsons.

I am from love –
assured and unconditional.

Congratulations on Word Award Nomination at The Word Guild Gala 2018

Well, the Good Grief People authors didn’t win the top prize last night at The Word Guild Word Awards Gala (we missed you, Alan) but we had a wonderful time meeting other authors and writers and hearing snippets of quality literature. We are proud to be declared a finalist in our category. One of our group did win a top award – congratulations to Glynis M. Belec for her win last night for her short script.

It was very special to have the group of us together. We got to know each other so well in the writing of our book and, even though we live in six different cities across Canada, we saw quite a bit of each other. To get us all together in one spot is a rarity and, therefore, I appreciated it all the more.

Just a couple of hours before I left for the gala, my phone rang. It was a woman from a funeral home in the area that had bought six of our books a year ago from me. If we need any more affirmation of the good things our book is doing for others on their grief paths, I got it. She raved about our book and ordered ten more Good Grief People books.

She told me they can’t keep the books on the shelf because people are finding it so helpful. She herself has found it to be so beneficial in understanding her own grief journey. She says it’s the perfect book in that it is not a ‘how-to’ book because those who are grieving already have enough on their plate without worrying whether they’re grieving properly or not. The short stories and poems are perfect for little snippets of comfort and hope given in small doses when needed.

I told her I was just getting ready to attend The Word Guild banquet today and that the book was short-listed for an award across Canada and she said she was not surprised.

It was wonderful to get such positive feedback. It was like getting an award. Thank you my Good Grief People author friends. We did it together.

Copies of Good Grief People can be ordered by messaging Barbara Heagy at barbaraheagy10@gmail.com or through local bookstores and retail outlets (The Bookshelf, Guelph; BookLore, Orangeville; Spa Wellness by Tamara, Guelph) or online at amazon.ca. They can also be ordered from any of the authors or through Angel House Publishing.

The Power of Telling Our Stories

Last night I attended the ‘Evening of Sharing – The Power of Telling Our Stories’ organized by Lisa Browning, One Thousand Trees Publications. The three speakers inspired me deeply with their unique life stories. They went beyond themselves and shared generously details of their lives from dealing with the death of a loved one, to writing our own stories instead of living through others, and mental illness and depression.

Margaret-Ann Brix shared her children’s story “Grampa’s Butterfly”, Melinda Burns, psychotherapist/writer/poet shared the importance of finding our true selves through writing and journaling, and Clay Williams spoke of his inspirational long distance runs for charity, specifically depression and mood disorders.

I bought Margaret’s book to share with my grandchildren and found her story to be a delightful metaphor on life and death.

Melinda began with a short meditation that focused and centered us. Her lesson was about mindfulness, being our true selves in the present moment. We can learn about ourselves by writing down our thoughts and feelings. She spoke of the difference between thinking, writing, and telling our stories. Writing is that safe space between thinking and telling, where we can record our thoughts and feelings in a safe space with no judgement from others.

Clay encouraged us to sign the Canadian flag that he carries with him when he runs in remembrance of someone we know who suffers with mental illness. “I would be honoured to run in their name,” he said. My signature joined hundreds of others to uplift those in my life that I care and pray for.

Thank you to all three speakers and to Lisa for organizing this special evening. Lisa holds “Evenings of Sharing” every month, each on a different theme. You can check them out at her website www.onethousandtrees.com.

10 Rules of Writing

A Facebook page that I belong to, Angel Hope Publishing, with Glynis M. Belec, had us consider an article she posted titled “10 Rules of Writing.” A blog entry by www.litrejections.com listed famous authors’ writing tips in a 10 point list form. It certainly showed the reader what kind of writer each author was and the value they put on their work. Many of them showed a great sense of humour. It really got me thinking about what I would put on my list if I made one. Here’s mine.

10 Rules of Writing

Consider your reading audience.

Always see your writing from the reader’s point-of-view. Your writing has to make sense. You have to feed them the story in an orderly fashion. Don’t assume they know what’s in your head.

Grammar and spelling are important but not always that important.

Consider the purpose of your writing and the audience. Is this just a quick note on social media or is this a published work that will be used for research or sold on a shelf and will be a valued piece of writing?

Write every day.

No matter how little. You learn to write by writing.

Write with spontaneity and flow.

Put your pen or pencil to the paper or your fingers to the keyboard and let that first draft just flow out of you without much conscious thought and little or no editing. There will be time for that later.

Show, don’t tell.

Good writers don’t just say, “She was happy.” They say, “Her lips curved into a slow smile, her eyes crinkled at the corners. A dimple began to form on her cheek.” Write using your senses, use descriptive words and phrases to paint a picture for the reader.

Use an editor before final publication.

A good editor, who gets you, will add rich feedback and a reader’s perspective on your writing. They will hone and refine your work. Your writing will be improved. There are many levels to editing from developmental to copy editing and they all must be covered before publication.

Read, read, read.

You learn from reading other authors’ works. They will inspire you and teach you by example.

Join a Writer’s Group.

Writing is such a solitary activity and you will find other writers will provide you with a living community for feedback, encouragement and ideas.

Input ideas, inspiration and energy every day.

Read a book, surf the Internet for stimulating articles and entries, go for a walk in nature, go sit on a bench and people watch. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you are enjoying it and find it relaxing, stimulating or fun. Julia Cameron “The Artist’s Way” calls these ‘artist dates’ and she recommends one a week. I recommend one a day, but then, hey, I am retired and have much more time. Do it at least once a week.

Market your work by building a strong platform.

Michael Hyatt, author, says to think of yourself as being at the back of a big arena with no microphone. You want to be noticed. But without a platform and a microphone no one will see you or hear you. It’s the same with your book. Talk up your book to everyone, use social media, seek speaking engagements, and get you and your writing out into the public eye.

My Food, My Love

This past weekend, I enjoyed two full days of writing experiences at the University of Guelph’s Writer’s Workshop. Writers, authors and speakers shared a variety of topics of interest to writers and I was able to enjoy five different workshops. I enjoyed ‘Writing and Mindfulness’ with Melinda Burns, ‘Spiritual Memoir’ with Susan Scott and Eufemia Fantetti, and ‘Self-Publishing Your Children’s Book’ with Lisa Browning, Heather Embree and Sherry Lee on Saturday. Sunday I learned about ‘Traditional Publishing vs. Self-Publishing’ led by Robert Pavlis and ended the day with ‘Writing From Where You Are’ with Nikki Everts-Hammond.

They all were of interest but the one I had the most fun with was the final one of the weekend, ‘Writing From Where You Are.’ Nikki had us writing from beginning to end of the three hour workshop on many short, quick, spontaneous prompts. This year I was hoping for more spontaneity and creativity in my writing and Nikki didn’t disappoint. It was a lot of fun and there was some time for sharing the wonderful results with the group.

My favourite piece I wrote was prompted from Nikki’s challenge to write about your relationship to food as though it were another person in your life. We were allowed five minutes to get it all down in one spontaneous swoop. I got to share it with the group and we had a lot of laughs. I hope you enjoy it too.

My Food, My Love

Get over here, you little cutie. You know I love everything about you. How you fit so nicely in my arms and hands. How warm you feel all snuggled up close. I just want to absorb your delicious smell, stroke your smooth shoulders and back, turn you around and let my eyes feast on your colours and shapes.

Then – then, I get to taste your deliciousness – a little bit sweet, a little bit spicy, always yumminess to my taste buds.

I love taking you in with small gobbles. First the lip caress, then the tongue flick, sometimes a big slurp when you are extra delicious. (Which most times you are.) Then, only after that first nibble, do I take a full bite, and a slow chew, and I roll you around on my tongue as my taste buds explode and sparkle like those chunky candies that go bang in your mouth.

But you don’t always taste that good. Sometimes you surprise me. You show up looking one way and tasting another. Like, you might be all yummy and creamy looking on the outside but the taste of you bites back when I put you in my mouth.

But, I have to admit – those days are few. Most days you are just my little cutie. And I love you.

Nikki Everts-Hammond, of Scripted Images, offers workshops in ‘Writing Your Life’ and ‘Writing Your Memoir.’ She can be contacted by emailing her at nikki@scripted-images.com or phoning her at 519-400-3528.

Sign-up for this popular series of workshops at University of Guelph happens in January and classes fill up quickly as these quality workshops are all offered for free in early March. More information is at #ugwriters. I’ll remind you next year of the upcoming date as it approaches. It’s fun and informative. I’m going to be going back again.

A Path to Creativity

Back in the mid 90’s I was teaching a Gr. 1 class at a small country school. One of my student’s parents offered to write our Christmas play and so began a new friendship based on our mutual enjoyment of writing. Jane introduced me to a book called The Artist’s Way – A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by the author Julia Cameron.

It was a book on the link between creativity and spirituality and included a 12 week program of basic principles and activities that rekindled one’s latent creativity and helped one to overcome problems such as self-esteem, self-criticism, jealousy, guilt and other factors such as worry over time, money or support, all blocks to our creative energies. Cameron believed that we all are creative beings, that there is not one non-creative person alive. She also believed that the universe is naturally creative and creative expression is the natural direction of life. This resonated so deeply within me as, decades before, in my university years in the early ‘70’s I had studied fine arts, modern dance and drama and experienced a new-found confidence in my own creativity abilities. I, too, believed vehemently that we all are creative beings.

During the ‘80’s, my child bearing years, my life had become very busy with family obligations and yet, during this time, I did manage to work professionally with a dance company in Toronto and returned to university in 1988 to earn a Bachelor of Education. Working full-time, raising a family and working through a difficult marriage didn’t leave much time for dance activities any longer. In the early 90’s my husband and I separated and a new life began. I was longing for a new outlet for my creative energies.

Cameron’s book provided me with that. For 12 weeks, I worked through her book, chapter by chapter, every day writing what she called “morning papers.” Each day I sat down with three blank sheets of paper and in a stream-of-consciousness format, I filled those pages. She said to fill them up from beginning to end, even if all I could write was “I don’t know what to write. I don’t know what to write.” She said, if you kept writing, pretty soon something of value was going to come out on that page. I wrote a lot of garbage back then but there were also many true gems of wisdom. I found by writing this way, it released my creative energies and I often found my soul revealed on the page, answering problems that I had fretted over for weeks.

She also told you to take an “artist date” once a week. It could be anything: go visit a fabric store, walk along a quiet river, visit a museum or go watch a parade. You were allowed to do anything at all that helped to rejuvenate, replenish or inspire you. It was to be done solo, was to be fun and festive and was to be filled with play. She said that we work so hard at being artists that we need to give back to ourselves and find the play in our creative process once again.

At the end of the 12 weeks of exploration, Cameron challenged you to set a creative focus for yourself that would work in your life. You were to set a basic goal, the steps you would go through to achieve that goal, and the time frame it would take you. You were to find a mentor that would encourage, guide and prod you along and you must meet with your mentor once a week until the goal was achieved. I chose to focus on writing, to have something published, even if it was only in a small way and I met with my friend Jane in her home, once a week. I continued to write morning papers and we had a lot of fun giving each other small prompts for creative, spontaneous writing and sharing these with each other. At the end of my weeks with her I did achieve my goal and an article on creativity was published in a provincial drama educator’s newsletter.

Cameron’s book opened up a new world of writing to me. I had always enjoyed writing but she inspired me to explore my writing further and she gave me a means of goal-setting and finding success with my chosen creative field. I would recommend this book for anyone who feels blocked in their creative field. If you are willing to work through her program from beginning to end, you will achieve success – and have a lot of fun doing it. Get those creative juices brewing. Go play.

New Year’s Resolutions

As 2016 as left us and 2017 has rolled in, I have been contemplating my New Year’s resolutions. New Year’s Day seems to be a good time to reassess your life and set some new goals, or so the world seems to be telling me.

I agree. It’s good to re-evaluate your life once in a while, and New Year’s Day seems to be as good a time as any, but I have learned that I need to be doing this on a continuous basis. I can set a goal, but then I need some steps to achieve that goal. These become my signposts along the way. It’s not just goal setting, it’s goal building. If I don’t have these mini-steps along the way, I’ve learned that I probably won’t achieve my main goal in the end.

Even at that, with a guiding map with significant stops along the way, life will probably throw some curveballs into it that threaten my steady progress. That’s when I stop and re-assess. Perhaps there’s a major storm happening, perhaps the road has crumbled or is under construction, and I have to choose another path. But if I hold true to my chosen destination, I will find another way. It may mean just a short respite from my travelling or I may have to choose a whole new path to circumvent the problem but if the goal was worth setting, it’s worth finding another path to it.

I lie to myself. I realize that there are different ways to try to meet my goals. One way to achieve a goal is to express it as a ‘hope’ – “I HOPE to feel better in my body.” But said this way, it really comes down to me saying to myself, “I INTEND to meet this goal.” These kind of goals have a built-in ‘out’ to them. I’m not committed to anything. I just hope I will achieve it. As the saying goes, “The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

I admit it. I ‘intend’ to continue to feel good in my body, which means regular exercise and good dietary choices. This is something I have been working on in the past, but I realize that I can do better. In fact, it seems my body is telling me, I must do better or suffer the consequences. I will go to the gym today and continue to hold this goal in front of me so that I feel better. It seems I have a million interests and obligations that continuously try to sidetrack me from meeting this goal. I need to bring my goal to the forefront and adhere to the regular steps along the way to achieve it fully. That means getting out and exercising at least 150 minutes every week. I need to set the dates and do it with full commitment. If something diverts me from fulfilling that commitment then I need to find another time and day to do it.

Another goal I have set is to give myself a new learning opportunity. It’s a short term goal, the kind I prefer. I tend to be a sprinter in life, and less like a long distance runner. It’s easier for me to fulfill a goal that has an end in sight. I have registered and paid for a week long getaway to attend an international dance camp. In a totally unique way I am looking with interest to improve on the skills I already have in dance, writing, travel and spiritual growth. I see it as the next step in my self-development. This is a goal that will improve me without necessarily knowing where it will lead to next. That’s okay. I’m going to enjoy doing it and I know I will be applying my new-found experience in future projects.

Another way I use to meet my goals is to work backwards and set a final date and goal and claim it publicly. When I set a goal like this, I don’t really know the path it’s going to take to meet it, but by publicly declaring it, I am assured that I will meet it. I am committed. It puts pressure on me. Without asking for it, I have enlisted the help of my community to ensure that I get the job done. For if I don’t meet my goal, I have not only let myself down, but all the people that believe in me. I’ve done this many times in the past by setting dates for future performances and it works well for me. This year I have done it by co-authoring a book called “Good Grief People” and we have set the date of February 28, 2017 as the probable launch date. I say ‘probable’, because we did set this goal before we knew the absolute route it would take to get there but we are aiming for February 28, 2017. I know we will reach our goal. We’re going to do it together.

So, my 2017 goals of ‘feeling good in my body’, ‘building my dance skills’ and ‘writing a book’ are well underway. I hope you have set some goals too. Good luck to all of us.

So You Want to Write a Book

I decided to write a book. I gathered up my journals, took out what I felt wasn’t needed, added some stories from the past, and had some friends read it and check it over for grammar and spelling and flow. I thought I was almost done.

Then I hired an editor for one last, final check. Little did I know that the hard work had just begun. Months later, with detailed revisions and editing, my manuscript was ready to send to Balboa Press. I thought I was almost done.

Week after week I worked with a new team member of the company setting up my manuscript for digital use, signing release papers for each step of the way, sending in a bio’, extra copy work for the front and back covers, keynotes (my book in one sentence), getting a professional author photo, getting copyright use for that photo, working with a design team through detailed revisions of my cover and interior of the book, reading and re-reading proofs in attentive detail, working with marketing consultants through detailed phone calls with checklists and ideas to self-promote my book. Once the release papers were sent off to the printer, I waited for weeks, and I thought I was almost done.

While I waited, I continued working on my social media platform, making a daily entry to my Facebook page, learning how to set up a blog and writing a weekly entry. I made phone calls, emails, met with people for interviews, approached book stores and libraries for exposure, and talked up my book everywhere I went. I had to buy packing materials, check postal fees, learn how to accept an e-transfer for money and make sure I am always carrying change in case someone wants to buy my book and pay with cash. I designed and ordered a business card and am learning how to build my blog into a website through YouTube tutorials. I am writing speeches for oral presentations on “Self-Publishing”, “Dealing With Loss”, and “Working Through Grief” for future oral presentations with small groups. I am beginning to realize that I am not almost done. The real work of marketing my book has only just begun.

Said by David Baldacci from Nov. interview in Writer’s Digest: “No one on earth is going to care more about your career than you. Not your agent, not your publisher, not friends in the industry. At the end of the day, you need to take responsibility for your career. And I know it’s hard when you’ve got your first book and you’re so excited that you’re like, ‘I’ll let other people take care of the royalties and all that—I’m just so excited, there’s my book on the shelf!’ But at the end of the day, everything matters.”

I have come to realize that “writing a book” isn’t just a matter of putting some words on a page and sending it off to a publisher. A whole new career has begun for me and it is my responsibility to care and put the energy into every facet of the business. But I believe in my book and its message. I am learning so much. I take courses, meet weekly with other writers and learn from pod casts, video tutorials and on-line articles and books on writing. I continue to write every day. And I read, read, read other author’s work. My life is busy but fulfilling. And I have come to accept that with writing and publishing, one is never done.