(The following is an excerpt from my upcoming book “10 – A Story of Love, Life, and Loss)
When we suffer a great loss – a loved one, a pet, a belonging, a relationship – it feels as if we lose a chunk of ourselves. Our identity and recognition of our personal self is so entwined with the “other” that we have no clear sense anymore of who we really are.
Birth itself is a push for separateness. The newborn baby emerges into the world alone, a unique individual. There will be many who walk the path of life with him/her but, once again, at death, he or she leaves behind loved ones and walks alone into the mystery of the afterlife.
We can walk parallel paths with others. We need not be alone. But we are separate and we need to explore and discover our individuality and self-worth independently. We can’t look to others to fulfill who we are and remain healthy and strong.
We need to find ourselves, our strengths, our weaknesses, our interests, our passions, and walk our path. A husband can’t be everything to a wife, a friend can’t be everything to another friend, a child can’t be everything to a parent.
Be thankful for the relationships in your life. But know yourself. Know that you are a unique “one” capable of standing strong when the storms of life leave you shaken and alone. You will survive. Find the inner you and begin the journey anew. A part of your physical world may be gone but the spiritual connection will always be present, with your memories and love and your very being. For the relationship with your loved one has transformed you and become a part of who you now are. And that will never be lost.
The difficulties in life can be, well – difficult. We wrap ourselves in the pain, burden ourselves with heavy loads, stand in the shadows, and trudge through life self-absorbed. But if our journey of negativity becomes a marathon, then bitterness sets in. We end up hurting ourselves. Rest when you need to, linger in the darkness for a while, but to benefit from those difficult times of our lives, we need to cast off the mantle of darkness. We need to step into the sunshine of life once again, stronger simply because we made it through the storm.
I wish you, my reader, faith, hope, and love. May you have courage, perseverance, persistence, and gratitude as you travel your journey in life.
Out of every loss, we have a new gain. Out of every ending, there is a new beginning. We can choose to look at our lives as a series of losses, or we can choose to look at our lives as a series of new beginnings.