I was at a family Christmas event yesterday and I was telling my nephew about my busy life and how I feel overwhelmed at times. He said, “Aunt Barb, you are retired and have nothing but time to do exactly what you want and use your time for the things you really want to do. You are making choices to keep busy and overwhelmed. You don’t have to do that.”
He’s right. I need to zone in to my inner heart and prioritize my needs and wants. I need to “listen to the whispers of my soul.” Especially in this holiday season of shopping, baking, partying, and feasting.
Enjoy the holiday season but give your energy to those things that are truly important to you and not just expected by others. Give because it fulfills you to give, not because you feel obligated. And remember, there are many ways to give. Time is a gift. A Christmas card is a gift. A plate of cookies is a gift.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays to all.
It’s only two days away and Christmas will be upon us. Each year I make Christmas simpler and simpler and yet I still hold on to many of my traditions that make the holiday festive. It’s not easy to hold back as we move through the season. Stores flaunt and push their wares. People around us are rushing here and there filling their carts with gifts and foodstuffs and often overextending themselves in both energy and money. I have had to hold myself in check and stick to a budget so I don’t get carried away too.
For me, it’s important to have a tree up in my home but I brought out fewer decorations and lights this year. It’s still beautiful. Gift buying and wrapping was finished earlier than ever for me and it feels wonderful to have the presents all wrapped and under the tree waiting for our celebration on Christmas Day. Family are coming for several days and I am getting the floors swept, the rugs vacuumed, and tabletops dusted.
I’m not a baker and so I felt very lucky to find a Cookie Extravaganza at a local church and was able to buy dozens of fresh, homemade cookies ready to share with friends and family.
For a month now, I have been attending lunch and dinner parties with small groups of friends as we celebrate our long-time friendships. It has been much more meaningful to take part in smaller, more intimate groups rather than large noisy parties.
I always seek out an opportunity to take part in some sing-along Christmas carolling and I also enjoy attending my grandson’s Winter Celebration at his school. This past weekend I attended a wonderful Winter Concert at our local theatre and have been listening to Christmas music non-stop.
I always appreciate the outdoor light displays and have been able to enjoy them over this month as so many have generously decorated their homes and yards for community benefit. The local town puts on its yearly display in a park and it’s tradition to go for a nighttime walk through the sparkling paths.
I’ve taken some moments to think about those who may not be having a joyful season. There are many suffering from past losses and I have taken time to write, pray, and share with others who have needed some extra love this season. There are many that financially just don’t have the resources to partake in all the Christmas buying and preparations. I have donated food, gifts, and money to others to add a little extra to their lives this holiday as others have done for me and my family in the past during difficult times.
Christmas crafts with my grandkids, and some minimal card and letter writing have nicely rounded out the preparations for the Christmas Day celebration. I have been busy but not as busy as I have in other years. I enjoy my traditions but have tried to not let them overwhelm me. We get caught up in the hustle and bustle in our attempts to achieve that ultimate Christmas that we hold as the ideal. I was in the library the other day and an older woman was complaining to the librarian. “I hate Christmas. All the gifts and wrapping and food preparation. And then there’s the house cleaning. It’s too much! I’m going home to lie down. I’m exhausted already.” I looked at the clock and noted that it was only 10:00 a.m. Why does she do this to herself?, I thought.
I hope that the Christmas preparations haven’t overwhelmed you. Try and keep things simple. Think about what’s really important to you and focus on that. For me, that’s family time. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing as much as taking the time to just be with each other. I also take time to reflect and refocus on ‘the reason for the season’ as I think about that little Babe born long ago. It’s a magical story.
Merry Christmas everyone. Enjoy your holiday time, whatever you do.
December 1, Advent, the beginning of the Christmas season.
Christians use it as a preparation for the commemoration of the birth of Jesus as they move through the next 24 days with hope, peace, joy, and love.
Much of the world prepares in other ways. Little children use it as a countdown for the coming of Santa Claus and open each small door on their chocolate Advent calendars with anticipation and excitement.
For me, it’s the beginning of a season for stopping to think about my own spiritual journey and relationship to Christ. I, also, join the rest of the secular world in carrying on and enjoying all the traditions of this special time of year as I put up my Christmas tree, bake the shortbread cookies, buy and wrap the gifts and watch the Christmas specials on TV.
It’s a special season that’s for sure. We have 24 days to prepare our homes and hearts for December 25 and all that it means to us. Enjoy it. Take part in your community events. Sing Christmas carols. Read the Christmas stories. Attend the concerts. Gather together in parties and feasting. Exchange gifts with your loved ones as well as those less fortunate as you.
Whatever you do, celebrate in whatever way is most meaningful to you and yours. May all the excitement and anticipation of the season be yours as you keep your traditions alive.
“Because of our traditions, we have kept our balance for many, many years.”
~ Teyve – Fiddler on the Roof
This weekend some of my Christmas traditions kicked in, helping to ignite my Christmas spirit.
I attended the Toonie Turkey Supper at St. John’s Anglican Church, Orangeville, where friends from the past gathered to enjoy a delicious turkey dinner with all the trimmings — a night meant to celebrate community and promote fellowship.
That same night, my family went downtown to celebrate the seasonal Tractor Parade of Lights. It was fun to be so close to the roaring tractors and big farm machinery and rigs all lit up with twinkling, colourful lights.
The next morning, we took the grandchildren to the annual Candy Cane Fair at the local hospital. For $2, the grandchildren were escorted away by an elf to choose and wrap a small gift for their mom, dad, grandma, or grandpa. This event is meant to help children get into the spirit of gift-giving during the holiday season and raise some funds for hospital equipment. Santa was there with Mrs. Claus for picture taking and there were craft tables and raffle tickets.
We went home again but only for a short while before we headed downtown again for the annual Santa Claus Parade with its colourful floats, marching bands and community participation.
Traditions are important. They give us a sense of belonging and add a secure rhythm to the seasons. They bring family and community together to enrich our lives and create memories. Through traditions, we reconnect with each other, find balance in our lives, and a little bit of magic.
This week a group of friends, all working and/or retired teachers, celebrated our Christmas pot luck dinner. I drove almost two hours one way to see them, as I do every month, but I love this group of friends and am willing to do it. We always go to Anne and Bobby’s log cabin home set back off a country road, surrounded by forest and fields. Years ago, they built this beautiful log home mostly by themselves; they dug their own well and set themselves up to be as self-sufficient as possible. They have a deep sense of stewardship for the earth and live as simply as possible. Their home is cozy and warm and I always feel welcome.
The group, as a whole, is creative and fun. We always go for a hike before dinner, enjoy our meal and then often play board games or share photos and conversations of recent trips or events. This month we had a celebrative Christmas party.
I arrived a little late and found Bobby putting the finishing touches on a Christmas tree set up in the corner. I complimented him on his choice, assuming that he had cut down one of the many trees on his property. He invited me to come take a closer look. I was amazed! He had found a dead maple tree trunk, put it in a pot and using fresh spruce boughs and a drill and ingenuity, inserted the live boughs to create a truly beautiful little Christmas tree.
“Would you call this a fake live tree or a live fake tree?” he laughed.
We always pick a theme for our dinner. This month, because it was Christmas, we all made ‘ginger’ dishes. There was carrot ginger soup, cheese and ginger mini sandwiches, ginger flavoured cheese, a stirfry with ginger sauce and rice, ginger and cabbage salad, ginger molasses cookies, chocolate covered candied ginger, and a lemon grass/ginger bubbling beverage.
After dinner we constructed a gingerbread house that turned into a gingerbread stable when one of the walls collapsed. We had lots of laughter and fun as each of us contributed to the Christmas creche we spontaneously created with two gingerbread figures for Mary and Joseph. A bright candy wrapper became a swaddling blanket for the baby Jesus, a tiny toy figurine Anne found that looked more like a tiny alien than a baby, and we stuck him into a gingerbread molasses cookie cradle. A plastic toy giraffe became the ‘donkey’ that carried Mary and Joseph to Bethlehem. Lyn, with a huge amount of patience, finished off the final touches to the gingerbread stable with candies and chocolate.
We exchanged gifts and cards: Moraine had a friendship bracelet for each of us, brought back from her recent trip to Guatemala; Lyn had hand-made soaps and toothpaste she had made at a local workshop; I handed out my own photo Christmas cards and Anne and Bobby gave us each a copy of their annual “Egbert Courier” newsletter.
Kathy brought a Christmas trivia game and we had fun asking each other questions and trying to come up with the correct answers as a group. Many of the questions had to do with Christmas carols and each time one came up, we would stop the game and sing a Christmas song together with Anne playing piano and Bobby his violin.
At the end of the night, we dimmed the lights, and with musical accompaniment and two part harmony, we sang “Silent Night” in unison. With lots of hugs and kisses, we said our goodbyes and wished each other a Merry Christmas.
For me, this was a memorable evening that I will treasure for years to come. It was the simple things that counted the most: good friendships, a tasty meal, music, hand-made gifts, and lots of laughter and spontaneity.
Merry Christmas to all. I pray that you too will have a memory-filled, happy holiday season.
There are those who are facing difficult circumstances this holiday season. It’s not easy being surrounded by cheery music, glittering decorations, party-makers and celebration planners when you feel your world is falling apart. It all looks so joyful and we can’t help but feel isolated by the merriment that we’re not feeling ourselves. The whole world seems to be a part of some great coming event that we just don’t look forward to.
Six years ago today, just before Christmas, my husband Tom passed away and he was gone forever. That first Christmas I was numb. I hadn’t truly accepted the fact that Tom was no longer with me. I had bought gifts and stocking stuffers for him and he had bought gifts for others that were still arriving by parcel post and courier. I chose gifts for his family, wrapped them, and wrote personal notes on Tom’s behalf as if he had given them himself. The Christmas card I had bought for him said it all: “Life gives beautiful gifts. It gave me you. Merry Christmas (our last one).” In truth, the Christmas the year before had been our last one, but I wasn’t ready to accept that reality. Family helped me wade through the grief of that first Christmas with love and understanding as we celebrated together.
The next Christmas was actually harder to go through without him for he was no part of the preparations. For the first time since I had been with him, I wasn’t choosing a gift for him, I had no need to fill his stocking or buy a special Christmas card. Any gifts I bought for others were from me, not us. What I did do is light a memorial candle in his memory. It sat beside his framed photo on the mantel of the fireplace. With the help of family, I made it through that holiday season.
I continued to light a memorial candle each Christmas. He was still with us. Family celebrations continued to be a part of all my Christmases and stories and memories of Tom were always encouraged from family and friends. His memory lived on. Christmases got better.
This Christmas will be the seventh one without Tom as a living presence. But he continues to be with us in our hearts and minds. Special decorations, food, drink, so many things still bring back memories of our lives together. We still share the stories and our fond memories of him. For us, he lives on, just in a new way.
The black grief of that first Christmas is gone but I continue to feel melancholy at times. How could I not? We had a great love. I will always love him. But life moves forward. There have been weddings and new births and grandchildren growing. Reaching out to others has helped. I have cried with those who miss their loved ones as they pass on and I have laughed with delight holding a newborn baby in my arms. We share our lives; the joy, the grief, the celebrations and the losses. I continue to live in hope and faith for all that life offers me.
I made it through that dark valley. I wasn’t afraid to feel the shock and the grief. I accepted all the dark feelings and let them run their course as the tears flowed and turmoil reigned. I reached out to family and friends for support, encouragement and even distraction. They helped me laugh again. I stayed an active participant in life by continuing to work, joining clubs and making new friends. I am stronger for having gone through it all, and can now reach out to others to help them through their difficult times. Together we can make it.
Stay hopeful. Stay strong. Better times are ahead. Believe that Christmas will once again be joyful for you. I wish you a Merry Christmas. Even if it doesn’t feel like it. It will.
One year in my classroom, as we approached the winter holiday season, I asked my gr. 1’s what ‘Christmas’ was all about. I got a variety of answers. I said to them, “It’s somebody’s birthday.
Do you know who?”
No one knew. So I told them the original Christian story of Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus visited by the wise men and shepherds and angels.
Later I was reading them a story about the nativity scene and Cameron asked, “Who is Jesus Christ?”
“Well, Christians say he’s the son of God,” I answered.
“Does that make Joseph the step-dad?”
“Well, in a way.”
“Well, if God’s his real father, what does he look like?”
“God is a spirit. God doesn’t look like people.”
Lily piped up. “God isn’t a he or she. God’s a spirit.”
“What’s a spirit?” asked Ashley.
“Well, a spirit is kind of like a ghost…”
“Like Casper?” asked Cameron.
“…or maybe like the tooth fairy,” I fumbled, trying to think of images that they could relate to. “Or, perhaps more like Mother Nature. In some magical way, the sun comes up, the sun goes down, the seasons change and seeds grow and animals are born. God’s the energy that makes all that happen.”
“God created us,” Lily said.
“Yes, Christians say that. And they say God created Jesus Christ magically inside Mary’s belly or womb.”
Nathan, still puzzled, said, “Well I know who Jesus is but who is Christ?”
“Jesus Christ is one and the same person. Just like you are Nathan Wood, Jesus has two names, too.”
“Oh,” he smiled, happy to understand. “Mr. Christ!”
